Getting the ex girlfriend back without being desperate?
Friday, November 26th, 2010 at
1:14 am
Tom asked:
I want to write to my ex gf. We broke about a year ago and haven’t talked since. I think we just needed our time apart to grow and heal even though I always loved her, and now that time has gone by I would like to see if I could get her back, but I don’t want to seem desperate, weak, or intrusive. If she is not into it, I would be disappointed but understanding. Any suggestions?
I want to write to my ex gf. We broke about a year ago and haven’t talked since. I think we just needed our time apart to grow and heal even though I always loved her, and now that time has gone by I would like to see if I could get her back, but I don’t want to seem desperate, weak, or intrusive. If she is not into it, I would be disappointed but understanding. Any suggestions?
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you took a whole year off? probably too late now. Everyday gone by unspoken is only separating the gap further. But good luck!
The first step to get your girlfriend back is to move on with your life. Get a life of your own for a while. Focus on yourself and what you need. For thousands of years countless gurus have talked about the key to enlightenment, but no matter what religion or school of thought it stems from the basic premise is cessation and contemplation. Take this time to stop and think about all the things you never get to do because you are with someone else. Enjoy your freedom a bit.
It’s funny, but in the movie Swingers the main character spends most of his time talking about his ex girlfriend and trying to figure out how to get her back. During a scene where they are discussing this subject and quite symbolically munching a pepperoni his friend tells him that his ex girlfriend will come back after he’s moved on with his life. By the end of the movie he has finally started to date another woman and sure enough, his ex girlfriend calls to tell him she misses him.
You need to start exploring your options which means dating other women. Luckily we live in a time when this is extremely easy to do with the advent of internet dating sites. The fact is more women join these sites then men, so the odds are in your favor. Instead of having to rely on picking up women at a bar or coffee shop you can step up to the buffet line of internet dating and pick and chose before spending a dime on dinner.
This strategy will serve two purposes. You will get a chance to see if you definitely want to try to get back together with your ex girlfriend, but will also make her realize that you can make it without her. If she find out that you are dating other people she will probably become a bit jealous. Wanting what she can’t have is a powerful motivator for your ex girlfriend to want you back.
In summary, in order to get your ex girlfriend back you need to try to forget about her for a while. Stop trying to contact her, and demonstrate your ability to move on with your own life. Start dating other people and then decide if you want to refocus your energy on getting her back. Then you will have gained the confidence necessary to win her back if desired, or tell her it was for the best when she comes knocking on your door. Maybe these aren’t the most original suggestions about getting your ex back, but hopefully it will remind you that every time one door closes another one opens.
If this is the woman for you, don’t give up. There are proven method to make her love you like never before.
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First of all…give them their space. If they still love you that is a great thing.
Read some books on the subject. They teach you how to make the right moves which will make him want you back.
When I first read the books I noticed that all of their suggestions were opposite of what a normal person would do. Once you read the books and start to understand what they are saying you will see that it makes so much sense to follow their ideas.
I ended up getting my ex back even after we were broken up for four months.
The blog that explains all of this is located at if you are interested in checking this out.
When trying to get your ex back one of the worst things you can do is appear desperate. Don’t be in a hurry and don’t try to over do it. Let things take their natural course. If you try to push things your ex will sense the desperation in your actions and you will do nothing but push them further away.
Remember that you are basically starting over with your ex. When planning something keep it simple and try to avoid the over the top romantic plans. Do something like going for coffee, lunch, movie or museum. Right now it should be more about just spending sometime together and developing some good dialog between both of you. Think about what you did on your first few dates.
Make sure to give your ex space during this time. Don’t call them every day. You have to give your ex space and allow them to have time to be alone. It’s ok for them to miss you for a few days. If you are constantly calling or seeing them every day they will never get the chance to miss you. If you bother them too much they may get tired of being around you and it could be over before you even get started.
One of the best things you can do for yourself during this time is to stay busy. Don’t stop doing activities that you have been doing before you and your ex started talking again. Stay active with your hobbies, hanging out with friends and family, go to the movies or rent some, volunteer your time somewhere (you meet some great people). If you don’t have any hobbies go find some! Remember that having space for both of you is very crucial at this point.
Keep things on a friendship level and work from that. Make sure to keep your emotions in check; don’t show your feelings to soon. Keep things friendly and you will know when you can move to the next step.
Be independent! You must be able to think for yourself. Ladies, here is a tip for you, men prefer women who are independent. Men, here is a tip for you, women prefer men who are confident. Not the Jersey Shore over the top type, but know what you want and be able to make decisions on your own. Don’t get strung along by your ex until they have no more use for you. Be independent!!
Remember you are responsible for your own happiness; don’t rely on anyone else to do it for you. Once you show your independence your ex will realize what they have lost and will do anything to get back with you. Getting your ex back is possible if you stay focused on the task at hand and have patience and a good plan.
Good Luck!
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